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DAN JONES

Transforming Understanding of Neurodiversity & Hypnotherapy

  • Autism: Social Communication Difficulties

    April 13th, 2018

    One of the areas where those on the autistic spectrum experience difficulties is social interaction. Every autistic person is different and so experiences difficulties in their own unique way. Some on the spectrum may be confident in social situations, and so may be able to speak to people socially, others may find the whole experience overwhelming and so may struggle to be in social situations, and yet others may feel nervous or anxious in social situations and lack confidence.

    My experience, both personally and professionally, has been that many of those on the autistic spectrum who say they don’t have a social problem do. They may be confident and perfectly happy to talk to others socially, but that isn’t the same as grasping and understanding social communication. This is the area that social communication difficulties falls into, so a confident person with autism may talk to others socially without any difficulties about how to start conversations, they just approach people and talk to people about what they want to talk to people about, they don’t necessarily think about how their behaviour is received, and whether they have just interrupted a conversation the person was having, or if the person didn’t want to talk with them. They usually also only talk about what they want to talk about, they aren’t really having a ‘conversation’ because they aren’t listening to the other person and attending to the other person’s needs within the conversation, they are focusing on what they want to say and talk about.

    For me personally I struggle to know how to start conversations, I worry that I will appear rude if I approach others to strike up conversations, I worry that I won’t notice the cues given off by the person I’m talking to which should let me know whether they are listening and interested, and the cues they give off to say they want to end the conversation, or want to talk about something different. I don’t like that I can’t work out and predict the exact pattern that is to be followed in any one conversation. Often, once I’m in a conversation some of what I am concerned about happens. I struggle to figure out how to end the conversation, I struggle to remember that the conversation should be two-way communication, and so it normally ends up with me talking at someone about what I want to talk about, forgetting to ask questions and using other skills to open up the communication from the other person’s perspective. I am better at doing this in therapeutic settings, like one-to-one therapy sessions where I am doing this intentionally to gather information about how to help the person to feel better, but in ‘normal’ social situations I find it very difficult to remember to do these skills.

    Social communication difficulties which those with autism have is more about lack of recognition of how social communication is supposed to go. Whereas most children non-consciously watch their parents, siblings and others around them and pick up how they are supposed to interact with others without needing to be taught many of these skills overtly. They will watch how their mother and father treat each other, how they instigate conversations, social cues they use, like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, and personal space people give each other, eye contact they use, gestures they use, and facial expressions. It seems that those with autism don’t pay attention to these things in the same way growing up. They look at people more like looking at objects. They may notice certain types of patterns, or sounds, or gestures which somehow resonate, but this is detached from the context of social communication. Autism is often described as a context blindness problem. The person with autism seems unaware of the role context plays in situations.

    I know from my own childhood experiences that certain sounds, or patterns of sounds would resonate for some reason, and I would replicate them, like whistling the sound, or I may feel compelled to copy certain movements that I saw, but I wasn’t making the connection with social communication. I was as likely to copy a pattern I picked up in a word or sentence that was used, as I was to copy a pattern I picked up in a bird song I heard.

  • What Causes Autism?

    April 6th, 2018

    The causes of autism aren’t fully known. There is variety in autistic individuals, with everyone having their mix of challenges and often additional co-occuring conditions. As it is something people are born with it is clearly genetic, but how and why it expresses differently in different individuals is currently unknown. It could be that genes associated with autism are expressed differently in the presence of other genes, or it could be they are expressed differently in the presence of certain levels of certain hormones during birth, and some of the differences in how it is expressed could be environmental, like how the child is raised. It is likely to be a mixture of all of these elements. One question is why does autism continue to persist? This may be because it has benefits for society like perhaps autistic indivuduals are more likely to be very good at focusing on one task and obsessing about that one task and that one subject, so they manage to achieve things others don’t have the time, focus or patience to achieve (or others would rather focus on socialising and feel they are missing out, if they were to spend hours alone working on a project or problem), like maybe becoming obsessed with how arrows travel through the air, and wanting to know why an arrow travels as it does, and what would make it travel further and more accurately. An autistic person may focus on this thought for years until they develop an arrow which is more efficient and better than other tribes arrows, which helps the tribe survive and gives the autistic person an advantage to the tribe. It could be that the downside is some people are born with very high levels of needs, which means they require more care, but may not contribute to the tribe. This is a similar argument to one I remember learning about schizophrenia when I worked in mental health homes. That schizophrenia is genetic, and at it’s worst (and without medication etc) it can be quite debilitating, but for some people and in some settings they have incredible creativity and connections of thought which others generally don’t have.

    There are questions about why more people are autistic nowadays. The currently thought reason for this is that there aren’t more autistic people, just less stigma, so more people are comfortable seeking diagnosis, and better ability to diagnose autism, as well as all of the adult from all the decades where they weren’t diagnosed as children, now seeking diagnosis. There are also more females being diagnosed autistic than their used to be. It used to be thought that autism was more of a male issue, and it may have a slightly more male bias – although with time it may turn out this is incorrect, but now it is recognised that females and males can be autistic, it is just expressed differently in females to males. For example I think females may find emotional sensory overload more of an issue than males, but this isn’t so easily picked up because people seem to think autistic people don’t have feelings and don’t get emotional, so in the past if a female was getting emotionally overwhelmed psychologists and psychiatrists are likely to assume the problem is something else, not autism. Females are also known to mask better than males, which can hide autism for years.

    So, we have a situation where there is more awareness and acceptance around autism, often support requires a diagnosis, so that can encourage people to seek diagnosis to see if they are autistic or what might be causing their challenges, so that they can access help for themselves or their child. So, more parents and teachers are recommending children for diagnosis, meaning more autistic people are being diagnosed (they would be autistic with or without diagnosis, so in the past, there would be the same number of autistic people, but fewer of them would end up in a position of seeking a diagnosis). Then you have adults seeking diagnosis, who were undiagnosed autistic children, and you have all the females now seeking and being diagnosed autistic. All of this together creates an enormous sudden uptick in diagnosed autistic people. To add to this, you have a high number of people self-diagnosing, where they haven’t formally been to a doctor for an autism assessment referral, but they feel that they are autistic and feel comfortable nowadays to state that.

    Not seeking an autism assessment could be because in some countries like the USA, maybe it costs money to do and isn’t easily affordable, in other countries, like the UK, perhaps it is because often there is a long waiting list for the assessment. For me, it took about a year from going to the GP the first time to ask them to make a referral for an autism assessment, through to actually attending that assessment and being told I am definitely autistic. Then there was a wait after this to get that in writing.

  • Living with Autism: Workplace Discrimination

    May 12th, 2017

    In this video about my experiences with autism spectrum disorder I share about discrimination I have faced at work due to thinking and behaving differently and how this ultimately led to me seeking autism spectrum disorder diagnosis to enable me to get occupational health support and to be treated fairly.

  • Living with Autism: Crushing Boxes

    May 5th, 2017

    This video about my experience as someone with autism spectrum disorder I talk about how I like to crush boxes and an experience of crushing a cigarette box when out at a nightclub in my late teens which nearly got me punched.

  • Living with Autism: Birthday Party for One

    April 28th, 2017

    In this video about my experiences growing up and living with autism spectrum disorder I share about the first birthday party my mum arranged for me (and the first party she had arranged for any of her children – it was to celebrate my 5th birthday) and how it went – hint… no-one turned up… 😦

  • Living with Autism: Being a Hug Free Baby

    April 21st, 2017

    In this video about my experiences growing up and living with autism spectrum disorder I talk about how I never used to hug as a baby and how as I grew up I would hug occasionally if I was asked to do so for a photo, but always felt uncomfortable with it, and what my experiences have been since then into adulthood.

  • Living with Autism: Fighting Low Expectations

    April 14th, 2017

    In this video I talk about my experiences as a professional who works therapeutically with families as well as my own personal experiences of fighting low expectations. People with high-functioning autism or Asperger’s syndrome are often very capable they just need the right guidance and opportunities to learn skills which don’t come naturally and instinctively.

     

  • Living With Autism: Finding Simple Solutions

    April 7th, 2017

    In this video about living with autism spectrum disorder I share about how I find simple solutions to problems that are often solutions other people don’t think of because of the different way I think about things.

  • My Journey to Autism Diagnosis

    March 31st, 2017

    I don’t know if anyone will be interested in this video, but I really wanted to make it.

    I have been ‘quirky’, or ‘weird’ all my life. At times I have felt discriminated against, but have felt powerless to do anything about it. Eventually I decided to have an ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) Assessment to see if I have high functioning autism, or Asperger’s. I felt this seemed like it would fit my experience of the World.

    The assessment process of spending many hours looking at myself now and over the years since childhood was informative and revealing, giving me many ‘aha’ moments where I started linking things together about myself in ways I hadn’t before.

    I knew something of Asperger’s because I have been working with children/teenagers and families for about 15 years, and have had limited training and read a few books on the subject, but in the questionnaires I filled in there were things I had never thought of as being associated with Asperger’s that I was able to relate to now and as a small child.

    Generally I’m not a fan of people being labelled because so many people blame their label and absolve themselves of any responsibility, and I have seen parents do this with their children. But if someone is seeking a label or ’cause’ for a good reason then I think it can be really helpful.

    For me, I felt that finally knowing once and for all, one way or the other whether I have something like high functioning autism or have something else, or whether I have nothing, and instead I am just weird. I reached a point in my life where I felt strongly I needed to know, and wanted to know. I wanted to understand me, who I am and why I think so differently to others. I wanted to be able to help others understand me and help them to know how they can help me, rather than having them think I am just trying to be awkward, or dictating things because ‘I want my own way’ when in fact all I want is a quiet space, or all I want is to get out of where it is busy because it is becoming overwhelming and I am about to get angry and will probably be very blunt and abrupt with people in my attempt to cope, or I am not being a bad friend by not getting in touch, it just doesn’t cross my mind to get in touch, or I’m not telephoning because I’m lazy, I just don’t like making phone calls because I don’t know what is going to happen or how it is going to go so I have to spend weeks thinking through the phone call and as many scenarios as possible before making the call or answering the call…and I could go on…

    Luckily for me my life took a change of route when I discovered hypnosis. Hypnosis is all about communication skills, so developing an obsession with communication skills has allowed me to learn how to communicate with people, albeit artificially, although I am doing more unconsciously all the time.

    I still find myself in situations where I don’t know what the right response is, and stupid things make me get anxious/angry and snappy and all I want to do is escape, whereas big things generally are predictable in how I should respond, so I find these easier to deal with (I am more comfortable having someone threatening to kill me, than I am asking a waiter for the bill).

    Despite challenges and difficulties I have had I have still achieve a lot over the years from being part of a TV programme about fear, to writing about a dozen books, and working as a psychological therapist. I wanted to make this video to share something of my past, and something of what has helped me cope with my different perspective on reality, and the positives of seeking diagnosis whatever age you are.

  • About my autobiography ‘Look Into My Eyes’

    March 28th, 2017

    Introducing my new autism book about my experiences growing up and living with autism spectrum disorder. It also contains extensive tips and strategies for parents/carers, teachers, employers, friends, and those with autism – around areas like work, interview skills, education, socialising, and more… Look Into My Eyes has been written to be as helpful to people on the spectrum, and those who interact with people on the autistic spectrum as possible. It shares my personal experiences as someone with autism, and my professional knowledge as someone with over 15 years experience working with those on the autistic spectrum and their parents/carers. Look Into My Eyes is available from all Amazon sites, and can be ordered from bookshops, and is available for Kindle, and other eBook retailers like Kobo, Nook, GooglePlay and the iBookstore

     

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